A museum print
For dog people and cat people
One phone photo in. Their actual face — same markings, same side-eye — out in videos that talk, a twelve-month calendar, and gallery prints for the wall.
Cast your pet →Takes about a minute. Nothing to pay until you’ve picked what you love.
Step 1 · Casting
1 of 3
One tap. It decides the voice, the writers, and how much dignity is involved.
2 of 3
It goes on the casting sheet, the order, and every button from here down.
3 of 3 · optional
Drop in a photo now and see your pet on everything below — or do it after checkout. Face toward the camera, both eyes visible. That’s the whole brief.
Photo upload needs JavaScript here — no problem, we ask for it right after checkout.
Photos you don’t end up using are deleted automatically after 7 days.
Step 2 · The showroom
Everything here is made from the same single photo. The pets below are examples — yours goes in their place. Add one role, or book them solid: the whole order gets cheaper with every role you add.
About ten seconds, vertical, their real face and a voice matched to the breed. Tap a sample for sound.
Reports of a missing chicken remain, at this hour, unconfirmed.
Live from your kitchen, where a rotisserie chicken was last seen at 6:40.
$12
Happy birthday. I got you nothing. I am the gift.
Birthday, thank-you, anniversary. Said out loud, by the one they actually wanted to hear from.
$12
I’m sorry you had to find out that way. About the shoes. Which were delicious.
A statement was prepared. Regret was not. No questions at this time.
$12
The trash was like that when I found it. I want a lawyer.
One lamp. One table. One very calm individual who has never seen that trash can before.
$12
That was Tuesday. It is now March. No comment.
The prosecution treats one slipper like a federal case. The defense would like a nap.
$12
Museum-style black-and-white prints, played completely straight. One set = three prints from one collection, delivered as print-ready files.
I. The Getaway. II. The Morning Paper. III. The Long Soak. Gelatin silver; toilet roll, artist’s own.
One set = three prints. This is a full set, from one photo of one Frenchie.
$29
Still life with counter, 6:40 a.m. The butter is not pictured. Nobody can say why.
$29
The chef at work. Every dish on the menu is described as “a tasting portion.”
$29
Window seat, one carry-on, no intention of returning the tray table to its upright position.
$29
Hands at ten and two. Head fully out the window. License pending.
$29
Browsing. Judging. Buying nothing. One item knocked off one shelf, on principle.
$29
Portrait of someone who has never once had a Monday.
$29
Senior Vice President, Barking at the Mail. Corner office. Open-door policy, mostly because of the thumbs.
$29
Twelve scenes, each one true to its month, all of them your actual pet.
Party hat in January. The hot dog straight off the grill in July. Tangled in the lights by December. Twelve months, one face, no bad angles.
$19
Send it as a gift
Of course you do. All you need is their mobile number — a US number for a text, or an email for anywhere else. You pick the roles and pay; their pet gets the part.
Choose the roles, flip “This is a gift,” add a note. No photo needed from you.
Today, or on the date you choose. Email works too, if that’s what you have.
One photo, and the fun arrives with your name on it. They can add to it — you’ve already unlocked their discount.
The gift is fully prepaid. They never see a price, only what you picked.
A toast, from the only family member who has never once forgotten a birthday, because they have never once known it was one. Birthday · thank-you · anniversary · get well · gotcha day.
How it works
One, or several from the same photo. Every role you add drops the price of all of them.
Apple Pay, Google Pay or a card on Stripe’s secure page. No subscription.
Or you already did. Files arrive by email or text — yours forever, no watermark.
Sent in → got back
Examples of what goes in and what comes out. Left: one ordinary phone photo — couch, lawn, blanket, window ledge. Right: the same animal, same face, new career.
Sent in
Got back
Sent in
Got back
Sent in
Got back
Sent in
Got back
Sent in
Got back
Sent in
Got back
These are examples of the work, not customer reviews. The voice is matched to the animal — size, age, breed. A kitten does not sound like anybody’s uncle.
Questions people actually ask
Your actual pet. We don’t redraw them, stylize them, or swap in a stock animal that looks close enough. We start from the exact photo you send: the markings, the one crooked ear, the grey patch on the muzzle — all still there.
If we can’t get a clean result from your photo, we tell you and refund you rather than send something that looks like a different animal.
Face roughly toward the camera, both eyes open and visible, even light, nothing covering the mouth. Indoors near a window is ideal. A phone photo from last Tuesday is perfect. Avoid heavy backlight, motion blur, and extreme close-ups of a nose. Long-haired and flat-faced breeds work fine.
Yes — that’s the idea. The same photo makes any video, the calendar and any gallery set. The more you add, the less each one costs: 2 items is 15% off, 3 items is 25% off, and 4 or more items is 35% off. The discount comes off the whole order, and you see the exact total before you pay.
Every piece is made to order from your photo. Each one lands in your inbox as a download the moment it’s ready, and everything collects on your order page. Videos are vertical, sized for a phone, and send fine over text or WhatsApp.
Flip “This is a gift” in the order, and give us their US mobile number or their email. You pay; they get one message with a link, upload a photo of their own pet, and receive what you picked. It’s fully prepaid. If they want more roles, they can add them at the bundle rate you already unlocked.
They’re print-ready files, so you can print them anywhere — at home, at a drugstore photo counter, or with any online print shop. Gallery sets are three black-and-white prints sized for standard 8.5 × 11 frames. Frames not included.
If we can’t get a clean result from your photo, we tell you and refund you. If something comes back looking wrong, reply to the delivery email and a human will look at it.
No, and the scripts are written so it can’t. Your pet always comes out on top. The joke is on the humans — the household that left the shoe on the floor and then called a press conference about it. We never write a pet as sad, scolded or in trouble.
It’s used to make your order, and that’s it. If you upload a photo and don’t end up buying, it’s deleted automatically after 7 days. We don’t use your pet in our own marketing unless you explicitly say yes.
Yes, and people do — usually a gotcha-day message or something for the family. Mention it in the note for the writers and we’ll write it warm rather than loud.
You do. Send them, post them, print them. No watermark, no subscription.
By pet people, for pet people. One photo, as many roles as your pet can handle, and the price drops with every one.
Open your pet’s order →
